These pictures are from our recent trip to the beach and our victorious encounter with Eduard, the tropical storm. It was a good trip, although we did get some unsettling news that has had our heads spinning since.
We got an email from our agency saying that they will no longer be processing adoptions due to a series of things that have not worked out in their favor. It was shocking to us to hear, but it’s funny, we were really calm and not all that rattled through it. We really think that all the seasoning we have had from so many setbacks and hiccups along the way has prepared us for this, the biggest one of all so far. It is really a statement about God’s grace in things we don’t even understand.
Since then we have been trying to figure out what to do and where to go from here. They did tell us that they would work to move their families to other agencies or people who could process us, and we have gotten word from them of some things they are trying to make happen. They recently started using a lady in Washington to help push some things through, and she has still been working on our behalf.
The other good thing about our situation is that our dossier was already submitted to the embassy. We don’t know exactly how everything will come out, but if it was not already submitted we would have a delay right now while we are figuring out who we are going to move forward with. In our case, they are still working on it.
In addition to the things our agency says they are doing we have been talking with another agency. This is one that is very reputable and that we wanted to go with from the beginning. If things do work out for us to wind up with them, I think it will be a blessing to be back with them. Right now we are trying to figure out how all the money stuff will work out with a new agency and with our old one, how this affects our timing, and other such things.
We have also heard since all this broke that some of our documents are too old and that we may have to redo a few of them, so we are trying to figure all this out. That’s why our heads have been spinning. It seems like in the last month or few weeks it has just been one curveball after another and it’s hard to process it all and know where to go from here.
Through it all we have had some hard times and hard days, but we have never been more sure that God is doing something very real and very big. He is so much bigger than us. His ways are not our ways. People keep commenting on how we must have asked God to teach us to be patient. I can’t remember if we did or not, but if we needed it, he probably knew without us asking.
And this has all been a huge chance to learn to rest in the wonderful grace of Jesus. It isn’t easy, and it isn’t fun, but it just seems so “real life.” It isn’t superficial, easy stuff that really doesn’t matter for much. These days and this season has far-reaching implications for us, for some child out there, for the gospel in our lives and those whose lives we influence, in our church, and in our families. It’s huge.
And it’s hard. And it’s uncertain. And it’s scary at times. I feel taken advantage of at times. I feel offended sometimes. I feel bitter sometimes. I feel angry and frustrated sometimes. And I also feel extremely humbled sometimes. I feel broken and dependent. I feel life flowing through me. I feel grace. I treasure my wife, and she better treasure all this. These days are tough days, but they are very rich days. I sort of long for them to be over, but they are refining.
So that’s the latest. Sorry things have been sporadic at best. All this makes it hard to just sit and type sometimes. But we want to keep everyone who cares to be updated updated. Thank you for walking with us.