it’s good to remember

Hey people, anyone who happens to still be checking this. We are going to try our best to get back up and running with posting and updating. We’ve thought a lot about all the family blogs out there and how they are used and viewed, and decided to try to get on this again. A lot of what we post will hopefully have a focus of how Sam is adjusting, what we are learning, and how adoption is affecting and has affected our lives and his. We’ll see what happens.

I received a video today from a family who met Sam back in 2008. It was cool and prompted me to look back through some old blogs and pictures. I didn’t have a lot of time, but in ten minutes or so, it really took me back. I remembered some of the feelings we had and the things we went through together. I remembered many of the people. I just remembered. It’s good to remember. It’s good to reflect.

I quickly forget how profoundly we changed in the three months we lived in Karaganda, Kazakhstan. Our lives were so impacted by a people in general, specific people, experiences, a baby house filled with children, and so many other things. The rooms we spent time in came back to me. The parks and the snow followed by the sun. So many things came back to me, even if just for a few minutes, and it was good.

Brining all this back with us has surely changed us, and we are so much beter for it. God has been so incredibly real to us, and we have had some challenging moments in our 6 or so weeks here, but our lives are richer, both by adding Sam abd by carrying all the “luggage” that we now carry, both good and bad. It’s weird to say that in some ways we miss our time in Kazakhstan. It might sound surprising, and honestly it’s surprising to me, but our lives were so significantly affected by so many things there, that it’s hard to just return. Things will never be the same. And if I’m being completely honest, I am not sure I want to completely “return.” I’m not sure I want things to ever be the same again.

Where it goes from here I have no idea, and I’m not sure what our future looks like, but I am glad to have experienced something so deeply that is has affected my spirit, my actions, my loves, my character, my motivations.  I’m glad to have lived and experienced and be still experiencing. Walking on roads like this, only starting to understand faith, has become to me a very rich and priceless thing.

6 responses to “it’s good to remember

  • Tracy Kirkpatrick

    The girls and I love to read about Sam and how God is wirking in all of your lives. You and Charity give me hope to keep going & not give up on anything your heart desires. Your family is a hugh blessing to our church and community. Your blog is awesome. Thanks for sharing! Your journey has truly blessed us.

  • Grammy

    I have tears in my eyes as I read this. I am so grateful to be Grammy. What a blessing and how much Sam has enriched all of our lives. Who knew God had little Sam to touch so many of our lives? Only our Father! I love each day that I get to spend with you guys and I look so forward to many, many more!

  • Jessica Crutchfield

    Wow. I feel that we may too soon be having these same feelings. It is hard to believe that we are leaving tomorrow for Almaty and that our time here is over. Chris and I said that we are going to miss Karaganda and in the same breath we can’t wait to go home. It is such a weird feeling and it is so hard to explain. Like you said in your previous post you just can’t put your finger on how you are feeling about leaving and returning home.

    We too have some video and I will send it soon. All the kids from Sam’s room have now moved up to the next room (Aidan and Adler’s room, group 6). Some of the older kids have left and gone on to the older orphanage which is incredibly sad. There are three families at the babyhouse now and one more on their way that we know of. More families for all those babies. We will continue to follow you guys. Your journey certainly touched us.

  • Laura

    I’m glad you liked the videos. I took them on our last day of trip 1 when we were saying goodbye to all our little friends. I was so sad to be leaving my son for a month, and knew he would forget me. Worse yet, all the other babies we fell in love with had unknown & uncertain futures, so I prayed and cried for them too.

    Young Sam had just moved to our room, so I only had these videos of him. Looking at your blog, I see that he has changed dramatically, and that is because your family answered His call. I am so grateful.

    Please know that it’s okay to have a hard time adjusting when you return home. ..And that it may take months to feel any sort of normal. It took me a few months to get back up to speed, and then we had another baby so I was thrown for another loop. Vic & the baby came home 4 months apart. Vic attached nearly immediately to my husband, but his attachment with me was very gradual and took nearly a year. It was painful and hard to keep up a loving one-sided relationship for about 10 months. This past April he started calling me mama, and preferring me over other women, and our whole relationship changed.

    All of this to say that what you’re feeling is completely normal. The online adoption community has been an enormous help to me. Especially the group of adoptive moms on Facebook – great for spot checks & instant therapy! Reach out to those who have or are going through adoption of SN kids. You will be loved, respected, and encouraged without an ounce of judgment.

    Be well & kiss Sam for me. He’s changed so much since I kissed him goodbye in Karaganda.
    Laura Sims
    ps. We’re Texans as well.. I’m from Austin & Bob’s from Silsbee.

  • Crystal

    I love that you and Charity are walking this road and sharing glimpses of it with the rest of us.

  • Carl Nedzel

    Praise God that He is doing a mighty work through further revelation of Him. I feel the same way about coming back from Laos. There are things in my life since coming back that I don’t want to return to and things in Laos that I do want to return to. I know I will never think the same way about prayer, dependence, or meditating on God’s Word ever again because He renewed my mind. I have the same uncertainty about my future, but I know it is in the Lord’s hands and He will put me right where He wants me. It was good to see Charity and Sam and I am looking forward to seeing you again Aaron. God Bless.

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